Gone from My Life
by ShineSparky
Summary: A few months have passed since seven survivors returned from Blackwood Mountain. Some of them are recovering well, others are taking longer. Chris convinces himself that he's recovering well, but he knows that he's missing something in his life. Something he feels he can't live without, and must have back.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Chris missed her. He couldn't get her out of his mind.

It was dark and cloudy, and Chris was trying to study for his computer programming class. Rain seemed almost certain to happen, yet Chris didn't have the energy to get up from the table he was sitting at.

When he got there, he was ready to study on his computer for an upcoming exam, but nearly ten minutes later his mind started drifting off. The first thought of her came to him when he noticed two girls walking out of the dining hall. One of the girls was wearing a striped beanie, while the other one was sporting finger-less gloves.

" _What a coincidence,"_ Chris thought, remembering that horrible night up on that mountain. He flashed back to when he first saw her that night, when they had arrived at the Washington's lodge. He vividly remembered how cute she looked with those purple and pink gloves, her signature beanie atop her auburn hair. Chris smiled at that thought, but was quickly disheartened. He hadn't seen her ever since they were brought home from the hospital; the one all seven of them were admitted to after the police interviews.

It had been a few months since then, most of their friends gaining the strength to go back to college. Chris had even seen Mike, Matt, and Sam around campus, occasionally having one-sided conversations with them. Sam had been the one Chris has been talking to the most lately, saying how everything might turn out okay. Sam was a great friend, obviously concerned about the rest of the group. She even started to notice how Chris would get quiet every time they talked about their friends who they have yet to see back in school. She'd ask if he was okay, but Chris would just pretend that it's nothing and put on a forced smile. Talking with Sam was fine with him, but Chris yearned for something else.

Chris wanted to be with Ashley.

He missed being around her, having someone he could really talk to. Someone who can handle his nerdy sense of humor, along with the thousands of dad jokes at his disposal. Someone who he loved.

Chris started to feel drops of water falling from the sky, snapping him out of his thoughts. Some droplets were creating dots on his computer screen. With a sigh, Chris hastily put all of his stuff into his bag and ran for the dining hall.

" _Great, where am I going to study now?"_ Chris considered all possible places on campus he could resume his studies.

His dorm was all the way across campus from the dining hall, and Chris didn't feel like having to walk that distance. The dining hall itself would be too distracting for Chris, the scents and aromas would only make him focus on food rather than programming. There was one spot on campus that would be perfect for studying, but Chris's mind wandered off again, thinking of Ashley.

The library would serve Chris an ideal place to prep for his exam, being both quiet and not so crowded. However, the library was where he usually had study sessions with Ashley. They would sit at the table closest to one of the corners of the room, giggling and smiling in each others content. Despite looking like they weren't getting anything done, Chris thought these daily meet-ups really helped both of them. Ashley was amazing in English, and she would help Chris with writing essays or whatever it was that he was having trouble with. Chris, in return, would help Ashley with her computer science class, having already know some of the content she would be learning. Sometimes, they would touch shoulders when Ashley needed to see what Chris was typing on his laptop. It was moments like those where Chris would start to turn a bright shade of red, facing the opposite direction so that Ashley wouldn't be able to see. When he would turn back, Chris would notice that she was blushing, too. Albeit slightly, but she definitely seemed like she started to heat up when they would get this close.

Chris wanted to relive those moments, wishing he just go back in time, before that night on the mountain, before the prank on Hannah. All Chris wanted was to be with Ashley again. He wanted to be able to hold her tight, care for her, and say that everything's going to be okay with them.

Chris could feel a tear coming out of his eye, causing him to promptly leave the dining hall and head for the library. A part of him hoped that Ashley would be there, face buried in a book, completely engrossed in whatever story she was reading. That he would be able to walk in and immediately sit next to her so that they could have a conversation. A conversation that Chris could cherish for as long as he can.

" _I miss you Ashley. I really miss you."_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The library was nearly empty, just as Chris anticipated. He glanced over each side of the room, searching for any sign of Ashley being there. Deep down, Chris knew Ashley wouldn't be here. It's been almost two and half months since what happened on the mountain, and Chris hadn't seen her in what feels like an eternity.

Still, Chris continued his search for Ashley in the library. He checked all the spots she would most likely be at, but to no avail. The last place to check were the tables found in the nearest corner of the library. Usually, these tables weren't used by many students, so those who did study here were able to work in peace. It was also a place Ashley and Chris thought was a perfect place for study sessions. They would meet-up here when either one of their roommates were present in their dorms. Ashley wanted these sessions to include her and Chris only, saying that they work better alone together.

Chris agreed. They did work better together.

Another wave of sadness hit Chris, and he tried his best to hold back anymore tears from coming out. He maneuvered his way through the aisles of bookshelves, anxious to get back to his studying.

" _What if she's there? What should I say?"_ Chris thought as he rubbed the back of his neck. _"No, don't be silly Christopher. Of course she isn't going to be there."_

Finally making it to the tables, Chris looked around and suddenly felt an overwhelming disappointment settle in him. Ashley wasn't there.

In fact, no one was there, leaving Chris to be alone when he starts studying again. Just like what his life has become after experiencing true horror. Chris was alone. Sure, he had his family and his other friends, but they didn't understand. What made Chris feel alone was the fact that Ashley wasn't there with him. _She_ wasn't there to help Chris deal with what happened. _She_ wasn't there to comfort him when he had nightmares. _She_ wasn't there to support Chris on every step to recovery.

Sighing heavily, Chris decided that academics were still important. He unconsciously sat down at the table he and Ashley would normally sit at, and took out his laptop once again.

* * *

The rain outside had reduced to a light drizzle. Chris looked outside and saw that even though the storm had subsided a bit, it still looked terrible outside. He yawned, leaning back to stretch in his chair. Chris pulled his phone out of his back pocket and turned it on. The screen read 1:26 pm, and Chris was surprised to see that such little time had passed since he resumed his studies. Even though this class was a step in achieving his dream job, lately Chris has become uninterested in the material. He would eventually get his work turned in, but it felt like time would slow down every time Chris tried to get something done.

" _Looks like study time's over,"_ Chris had agreed to come home early so that he could watch over his little brother. His parents were going to be out of town for a few days, so Chris made sure nothing important would be happening in the few days his mom and dad would be gone. He really didn't want to continue studying, but he also didn't want to get up. After contemplating for a few moments, Chris soon stood up. He picked up his bag off the floor and set it on the table, tiredly putting his laptop back in.

Chris kept a small, travel size pack of tissues in his bag, and took it out sometime while he was studying. No matter how hard Chris tried, his mind still was drifting off and thinking of Ashley. At one point Chris remembered how he would always volunteer to get the both of them snacks during their study sessions. Even though Ashley was really the only one to get hungry, Chris still asked if he could get her something. She would always reply with _"Oh, Chris, you don't have to do that",_ but he would always insist he get her something. The memory brought a smile to Chris' face, but tears would also appear out of nowhere, causing his nose to become stuffy. The tissues helped with both the stray tears and runny nose.

Chris just wanted it to stop. He wanted to stop feeling sad whenever he remembered something, anything he did that related to Ashley in some way. He just wished he could be with Ashley again, so that they can make it through this together.

He started heading for the door, throwing his crumpled up tissues into the trash on the way out. Chris pulled his phone out again, and looked through his saved text conversations. He found the one with the contact 'Mom', and began to text her that he'll be home in a couple of minutes. After pressing send, Chris didn't turn off his phone. Instead, he looked through his text conversations another time. He found the contact 'Ashley :D' and started to look through their old exchanges. The last text sent by Ashley was on the night of the mountain experience, asking if Chris had arrived at the cable car station. All the other texts after that was sent by Chris, primarily consisting of "Are you doing okay?" and "I miss you. Coming back to school soon?"

Chris wanted to send text after text, hoping that Ashley would eventually respond to one of them. He began to type another message, but was interrupted when he accidentally bumped into someone. Both of them were sent to the ground, Chris dropping his bag and phone, and the stranger dropping all of the books they were carrying. Papers and notes were scattered across the floor of the hallway, and the stranger was frantically trying to pick everything back up.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going and just being an idiot!"

Chris froze. _"That voice… it couldn't be…"_ he thought, still looking at the giant mess of papers strewed across the tiles. _"Could it really be…?"_

"Ash?"

There was a moment of silence as Chris looked up, only to see a face that he'd desperately wanted to see again. "…Chris?"

"Ash?! Oh my god, Ash!" Chris practically flung forward, embracing Ashley in a tight hug.

She felt like she was going to snap in half. "Hey Chris," Ashley softly spoke.

"Ash! Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to see you!" Chris backed off and noticed that Ashley's eyes, were slightly bloodshot, and she had barely any makeup on. Probably the result of lack of sleep. Despite this, Chris could've sworn that she still looked absolutely beautiful. She was wearing a white knitted beret, with a grey peacoat over a black sweater and black jeans. Her hair looked a bit longer and curlier, and was draped over one shoulder. She was also wearing a purple scarf around her neck. "How have you been? Are you doing okay?"

"I've… I've been better," Ashley wasn't directly looking at Chris, but she would glance up and make brief eye contact.

"What brings you back here? Not that I'm saying I don't want you here, because I'm so happy that you're back!"

"Well, my therapist said that going back to school and being with my friends would help me deal with what happened," Ashley paused before resuming, " I didn't think that would help for a while, but after some heavy consideration, I finally decided to come back."

"I'm glad you did. Were you going to go to library to do some work?"

"Yes, I was planning on catching up on my classes there. You know I like to study in the library. Well, we both do I guess."

"Yup, remember how we would have our study sessions there?" Chris could see Ashley nod lightly and look away again. "Want to do that again? I have some spare time on my hands."

Ashley put all her papers and books in her bag. "As much as I would love that, I think I'm going to have to decline the offer," Ashley replied, still talking softly.

Chris tried to hide his disappointment. "Oh? W-Why's that?"

Ashley took a deep breath before responding. "Because I think that we being alone together is not going to be good. Yeah, we'll talk and stuff, but eventually we're going to talk about what happened before, on the mountain. I'll get all sad and stuff, but then you'll try to comfort me."

"But – how's that a bad thing?" Chris' huge smile had now completely disappeared, making way for a confused look.

"You were hurt that night as well, Chris. You're just as broken as me. In order to comfort and soothe my pain, you're going to ignore yours." Ashley was speaking with a more firm voice, looking right at Chris.

"Ash… I'm not-"

"No Chris, don't try do deny this. You're going to ignore and pretend your pain doesn't exist."

"But-"

Ashley grabbed Chris' hands, and held them tight her own. She stared at their interlocked hands instead of his face, and soon started again, back to a soft voice. "I'm sorry Chris, but…" Ashley closed her eyes before resuming. "I love you too much to let you do that to yourself."

Chris didn't know how to respond. His mind couldn't think of anything to say. It was as if it was paralyzed, as if it didn't understand what she had just said.

He saw Ashley turn to leave, and all he could do was stand there and watch her go. She suddenly stopped for a second before turning back around and lightly kissing Chris on the lips. She turned back around and made her way through the hall to the library.

Chris felt his heart sink, and the tears were back.

" _I just got you back… don't leave now."_


End file.
